The past ten days have been a new uncomfortable for me. I'm eating more than I usually eat, I'm holding myself accountable to process, and I'm trying to fit my goals into my life, rather than to let my goals take over my life. That said, my feet hurt, my arms hurt, I've logged great mileage this week in spite of traveling and weather and wine. But I have a smile on my face, because I'm learning. I'm learning that some of the things I thought about myself and my ability to accomplish this goal are completely wrong.
Back in High School, I wanted to participate in a sport not because I was good at anything, but because I was bored. In fact, I was not good at ANY sport, really. I joined the Cross Country team my Freshman year at Naples American High School, and I hated every minute of it. One of the reasons I hated it was because in my mind, not even I could be that bad at running, but I was.
It's just running, right? I had convinced a friend of mine to join the team with me and from about the second week of practice it was clear that she was WAY better at it than me. I huffed and puffed through workouts, did a lot of walking, did even more whining (sorry, coaches, wherever you are) and really never got into it. Half way through the season I was having asthma attacks which were brought on by the sulfur in the air in and around Naples. I was pretty grateful that I had a really good excuse to bail out.
The next semester, though I found myself signing up for track. I was far more committed to getting to travel all of Italy on the co-ed track team than I was actually excelling at anything. I tried long-jump, shotput and discus. Shotput turned out to be my 'best' sport, once I got my body to learn the throwing form. As a team member, I was mediocre at best. I was in to have fun, anyway. My second season of track my sophomore year, my season was also cut short thanks to a run in with Mononucleosis.
Fast forward a million years. I have never wanted to be better at something than I want to be at running right now. And this week I pondered on the thought that all these years I've built these images in my mind of what "success" at the sport of running looks like.
And when I created my goal, I had it in my head that unless I continued to move forward into achieving a lean physique, I could never run fast.
Well, that's bullshit.
Mostly.
Obviously I have to move toward a body more capable of running faster to achieve a 3:40. More importantly, though, I need to exercise my mind into being capable of running a 3:40.
There are plenty of people who can run a Boston time in their age and gender groups and they don't look like Dean. Are they lean? Probably. But are they perfect? I bet not.
I have to change my perception of what I believe a body type is capable of, and following this gal has helped me-
There are stereotypes in all things, and if you visit Jessamyn's page or follow her instagram account, you will be challenged to think differently about what you think you know. The armstand she's doing here is an advanced pose, yet she looks as effortless, balanced and beautiful as her stereotypical yogi counterparts who are sporting 17% body fat and chiseled physiques.
When 'they' say that the only limits we have are the limits we create in our minds, 'they' are 100% correct.
I am beginning to challenge the mindset that I will have to create the perfect running body in order to run my goal--- My body will do it. My body has already proved to me it is capable of more than I ever would have dreamed possible back in my high school days and my limited exposure to endurance training. I don't have respiratory problems anymore. I run faster than I did in high school, and I actually love it this time.
My body will catch up to my goal. It's the mind that needs the makeover.
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