Food is your Friend... Food is Fuel...

Me and food, we don't get along so well.

Well, some days we get along WAY too well.

This isn't the whole "let's talk about disordered eating" post.

Nor is it the "I'm going to share everything I eat with you" post.

Yesterday was the beginning of my quest, and one of the first things I am working on getting right in my brain is that my coach issued a Macro daily goal based on my activity, and I ain't gonna lie.  The amount of calories I'll be consuming if I am hitting these macros will be a good 500 to 600 calories more that I typically TRY to consume.

I've known it for a while, especially after St. George when I tried to get even leaner and even faster and really ended up more tired- I hardly ever eat enough food.  When I do consume enough (or more than enough) calories, they are generally empty, sugar-driven, soulless calories that are the result of red wine at the end of a long day or a stack of Chips Ahoy that didn't stand a chance.

There is no "cheat day" for me.  I either am eating clean and well, or I am on a downward spiral of pizza, wings and wine.  My brain doesn't see it any other way, I am either succeeding with my food choices or failing.  There is no happy medium.

I don't know why I'm wired this way, but if you know what I mean it's pretty irritating.  I enjoy food in the moment and generally harbor serious eaters remorse afterward.  If I'm being stringent and staying on a plan, I daydream about cupcakes and M&Ms.

Maybe other people don't have these issues, maybe it's just me.

Anyhoo, one of my first focuses this week is to have this mantra of "Food is Fuel".  I am not counting calories, I am USING macros. My body NEEDS this many macros in order to do what I am asking it to do.  I have to get used to that.  I will get used to that.