Don't worry, this is not about the Kardashians.
You know those people that act like they don't care what anyone thinks about them, they are going to live their truth, blah blah blah? Those people are full of crap, especially if they have a Facebook, Instagram or Twitter account.
I'd like to think that I don't look to social media for validation, but on some level I guess that's what anyone who posts anything is looking for. Having an online life is only one side of the coin... I think more important question is, whose online lives are we looking at?
And what does that do to us?
A couple of days ago I was perusing my Instagram feed when I crossed paths with this fitness model in Australia who had had TWINS (who were also children #3 and #4) and was posting pictures of herself in a bikini WITHOUT STRETCHMARKS and nary any evidence that she'd just brought two human beings into this world who were plus or minus five pounds a piece. She had her six pack and thigh gap back like three days postpartum. I really wanted to hate her, I did, but I'm not an inherently hateful person. But I found myself subconsciously listing things about her that made me feel better about myself.
Like, haha, she won't get good sleep for like the next five years.
And, she can probably afford to rub caviar all over her stomach every day to ward off those stretch marks. I mean, I would've done that too, but I didn't know caviar worked back then.
And, I guess if your paycheck revolves around your looks, you have to make pregnancy look that awesome too.
So I wasn't trying to be a hater, but some peoples' reality is so far removed from my own that there's just no way to make a real connection. And that, I think, is the real sadness of social media comparison.
But here's another one. I actually "follow" her....
This woman is a superhero. I mean seriously. Look at her bio. Then look closely how fast she runs. I totally stalk her. She's another one who had a baby and seemingly didn't take a day off or miss a workout. Based on her posts she is trying to qualify for Boston too and I dig that. So when I need motivation, I go look at her feed and think, I don't have five kids. I don't have a chronic disease. If she can do this, so can I. I am truly inspired by people, women in particular, who post this kind of unreal realness. Her life, I can get a little closer to.
Then there's my yoga girlcrush.
This woman makes bendy an artform. I am not as concerned with nor do I ever desire to be an accomplished yogi, but the affirmations in her posts and her encouraging enlightenment make me want to continue practicing yoga. Boston is one thing. Handstands are totally another.
I think all the hate and negativity that is associated with what social media is can be completely undone when we realize and accept that what motivates us, motivates us. And we shouldn't be ashamed of that, nor should we shy away from it, nor should we begrudge someone their perfectly sculpted abs and superawesome lighting if it fires us up and some how makes us want to be better too.
I also just read this story and while I was reading, I equally hated this woman for being older than me, faster than me, and more dedicated to a crazy goal than me while loving her for having the balls to do it in the first place. When I read her "why", I thought, See. I get that. I get her why. I get wanting accomplishment. And I was inspired.
I often wonder if stalking people for the specific purpose of fueling your own inner fire is some strange form of self-bullying. But then I remember some of the things I've learned about stoking that fire, and I think, stalk on.
Tim Grover's book Relentless is one of my all time favorite reads, especially when I'm feeling mediocre. He talks a lot in this book about what motivates ultra-driven people- CLEANERS, as he labels them. They clean up after everyone else. They come in, they get the job done, they do what they have to do at all costs, and they are relentless.
If you're going to pursue some sort of greatness, you have to learn to be relentless. Maybe that means getting up earlier, working later, dedicating yourself to your cause regardless of who's out there loving and hating you. Either way, don't be ashamed to stalk those who inspire you. Let what motivates you, motivate you.
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